Yes, I Miss It: Three Months Sober

All the shit bits of being sober

Kayla Martell Feldman
4 min readJul 2, 2021

I’ve made a big show of going sober. My past two articles have been primarily focused on how much calmer and happier I have become since I quit drinking. How many things in my life were wrong or difficult or out of control because of or made worse by alcohol, and how easy it has been to seamlessly slip into a life without it. So, to celebrate being 90 days sober, I’m going to share with you all of the times it hasn’t been easy.

Photo by Rachael Henning on Unsplash

It hasn’t been easy to say no to a round of shots. In fact, I’ve started ordering shots of pineapple juice when everyone else is doing tequila, because I’m mildly allergic to pineapple so it makes me feel alive. No, it’s not the same, but when people act shocked that I’m drinking something I’m allergic to, I find it extremely satisfying to retort “you’re literally drinking rocket fuel, calm down.”

It hasn’t been easy when I get stressed or depressed, to suppress the desire to take the edge off with a drink. A lot of people recommend meditation for this, but it just doesn’t work for me (this is not an invitation to convince me I haven’t done meditation right, I’ve tried loads of different types, please leave me alone). I have noticed that I feel my emotions a lot more deeply since I stopped drinking, and although that sometimes feels scary, it is good to…

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Kayla Martell Feldman
Kayla Martell Feldman

Written by Kayla Martell Feldman

Anglo-American atheist Jew. Director & writer for stage & screen. Book person, intersectional feminist, poet. Living with OCD. Not an Expert. she/her

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